Revenge 
is a dish best served itchy. Itchy as hell.
Want a creative way to get revenge on someone that's pissed you off, scorned you, or are just mildly irritating? One that doesn't involve "permanent damage, or risk of personal injury of jail time?"
What could possibly be such a perfect and satisfying revenge?
Crabs
! Yes, that's right. Crabs! The funniest of the STI's.
Bred and delivered right to your door for ease of infestation.
A website in Britain called crabrevenge.com says it sells public lice. It's a bit of a contradictory site because while it says that they "do not endorse giving people lice" and that the lice are for "novelty purposes only" (I would consider pubic lice many things, but novel is one word that doesn't come to mind right away.) but then its header is "Make that Bitch Itch."
They've got 3 packages available of their lovely lice. You can pick between the green package with includes one colony which can have as many as 30 eggs. "Great for one person".
The blue package includes 3 vials, each with about 30 eggs that if you don't have 3 people to use them on right away, you can freeze some for over 160 days. Or maybe to share the fun with your friends you can all go in on getting the blue package.
The Red package is for that special person that really has your panties in a bunch. This has one vial of "shampoo resistant F strain crabs, " which can "take up to two weeks to get rid of and apparently bite so much that they can cause the victim to scratch themselves raw." Sounds like fun for the whole family. Of crabs that is.
They've even got postings from some happy customers such as, "Just what I needed to get back at my ex-wife." Says Ethan from Dublin. That assh*le.
As weird as this is, I think it's quite a unique idea and quite enterprising. I mean, haven't you said something outrageous like, "I just want to punch her in the ovaries!" Or, "I wish he would catch crabs that assh*le" or, "I wish the Delorian would just run them over." and with their special parasite husbandry and breeding, crabrevenge.com allows your one wish to come true! (This blog does not condone punching women in the ovaries or flippant remarks about Back to the Future. Because its awesome and you not allowed to make fun of it!)
Personally, I don't think I'd want it getting around that I gave my ex-boyfrien
d crabs. Much less a sibling! That would lead to some awkard confessionals...
In an Australian town Darwin (how ironic!) every year around this time it is not uncommon to see a drunk or hungover parrot crash down somewhere in the town or simply just passing out and falling out of the trees. 
